May 31, 2026 • check in

Current Listening: Deee-Lite - Picnic In The Summertime

Wanted to make a quickie blog post before May was over with! I've actually been pretty busy irl for the past week, which is good for me but bad for my weblog Σ(°ロ°) An update is in order, especially since I announced my art challenge...

I actually started the digital portrait, but it's become a bit more involved than I was expecting when I made that prompt, so hopefully I can have that up later this week (ᵕ,'•ᴗ•) In other news, the weather has finally gotten nicer here after a pretty dreary spring, so I've been out all day when I'm not busy with work or with my family and friends. I walked 25k steps yesterday ҉*＼( ˵˃ ᗜ ˂˵ )／*҉ The weather makes me feel exactly like this entry's Current Listening.

Also, I got the HGUC MS-06S Zaku II aka Char's Zaku, my first Gunpla kit ever⭑.ᐟ Because the box was damaged, the store sold it for less than MSRP, so I figured why not. Building it was actually as fun and relaxing as everyone says it is, and I can now see how people get so addicted to these lol. I made two mistakes where I had to spend 20 minutes using my nails and dental floss to pull apart pieces, but other than that, it was an stress-free time ^^ I want to get another cheap kit to work on my filing and sanding techniques before I delve into things like panel lining, decals, and painting. 1/144 scale is perfect for my limited space, so I'll stick to that for now. I also plan to keep it Char themed so I don't go overboard lol (although MS-07B Gouf calls to me...Garma's Zaku as well...)

May 25, 2026 • pomme pomme + new challenge

Current Listening: UP-BEAT - Dear Venus

Apple that I sculpted *puts it in my pocket for mischevious pranks >:)*

Started work for my new (and hopefully last) freelance client. I was nervous going in, but the work has been simple and the client is really relaxed, which is ideal ( ∩´͈ ᐜ `͈∩)

It's been a week since my little internet break experiment, and I'm happy to report that I haven't gone back to my old ways! Unfortunately, I still haven't drawn as much as I'd have like to :( I realized during the week that it's not because I'm lazy or too chronically online like I thought, but because a part of my brain connects drawing/making art with social media. I used to post my art on a few platforms and grew to despise it over time. It's been a few months since deleting those accounts, but those negative feelings still remain and I think I've conflated the act of drawing with that mental chatter...

I drew before social media ofc, and had so much fun making art just for myself and showing it to friends. My goal is to return to that mindset. Since I enjoyed using my log as an accountability journal for reducing my internet use, I want to use it again to make a week long challenge. Here's my seven day plan:

1. Create pixel art graphics for this site
2. Start an OC sheet
3. Do a study of an artist/piece I like
4. Paint something traditionally
5. Draw a gift for someone
6. Draw a sketch in my sketchbook
7. Do a timed digital portrait

If I don't do all of these or change the order or my mind on what to do, it's okay. The goal is just to play around and have fun with art again, so I can draw freely like I used to :)

May 13, 2026 • Internet Break Day 7 + Final Thoughts

Current Listening: The Cure - Pictures of You

Last day of the break! Overall, I think it was a success, but a lowkey one. While I don't feel more good, I do feel less bad. I'll go into what I did today first before delving into my review of the break itself.

My Day

I spent the first half of the day accomplishing something on my goals list, which involved going to a government agency office and getting some paper work done. This was pretty stressful, but I did it!!! Checked the mail and was happily surprised to see some doujin I ordered had arrived:

I got another one not pictured here, but that's for a secret project I'm working on rn |ｮω･) Both of these are for Slam Dunk. The one on the left is a Mitsui/Ryota dj that I got because of the cover + ¥200 price, and the one on the right is a compilation by a Mitsui/Kogure artist who I really respect, Fujitani Uiko (X · Pixiv)! I love her art and how she portrays the pair in such a sweet and tender way...The dj featured in it were published over the course of 2002 - 2007, and have a spring/summer setting. She made a complimentary one with her fall/winter work that I'll buy once I finish reading this one!

I ordered through Mandarake with their International ePacket Light option because it was the cheapest one with tracking. They said it would take up to a month to come, but it only took a week (⊙__⊙) I'll definitely use that option in the future if I'm buying light items, although I was shocked to see how much Mandarake have raised their prices. Suruga-ya are way cheaper for a lot of the same stock, with some items even being three to four times cheaper...

I also sculpted, which is something I've been experimenting casually with for a bit. The clay I had been using prior was air dry clay which I found really difficult to work with...wanting to improve, I decided to use this book as a guide. The book recommends oil-based plasticine which is cheaper and easier to move around than air dry clay. The only downside is that plasticine doesn't dry so everything I make w/ it is ephemeral in nature, but considering these are just exercises meant to help me get used to sculpting, that's not a problem. So far, the exercises have been fun, putting both my mind and spatial skills to the test (｡- .•) Using clay even just to create simple shapes as seen above is calming in its own way because of the tactile element.

Internet Break Conclusion

Point form notes because I don't want this to be a 5207 word essay:

• Art: Not as productive as I'd have liked despite the fact that this was one major reason why I did this. I think this was greatly impacted by me limiting myself to one podcast episode per day, as I like to have banter on in the background as I draw and didn't want to draw to a single one hr podcast (the one hour mark is right when the going gets good...). Tbh I don't think podcast consumption is that much of an issue for me compared to my need to watch inane YouTube video essays about quitting social media, so I'll be bringing unlimited podcasts back via the Podcast app on my phone while keeping YouTube blocked. That being said, I did draw a bit and started sculpting as seen above, so this wasn't a total wash either.
• X/Bluesky: I have lurker accounts for both to see artists I like but I missed these sites the least. I peeked at them once the day was over to see if the artists I like posted anything new, but I only saw current events and comments and I started to feel sick tbh. These will stay blocked.
• Journaling: Not only have I written more entries here, but I've gone back to journaling by hand! It's just in a plain Muji notebook I had laying around unused, but it's the perfect pressure-free dumpster for all my thoughts. Free journaling at the start of the day before I do anything major helps to clear the junk out of my head. Also, I find that writing notes for my diary and media log entries by hand before I type them out helps me better figure out what I want to say compared to when I type them out first. The only downside is that doing this has shown me how much my handwriting has deteriorated thanks to non-use (╥ ᴗ ╥)
• Screens: The days when I didn't turn on my computer were demonstrably better than the ones I did to do website work on. I'm going to make a habit of not opening my laptop first thing in the morning, and maybe having no computer days on a weekly basis. The screens I enjoyed the most were the ones on my Nintendo 3DS and Switch 🎮👾
• Conclusion: While attempting to be chronically offline isn't some instant cure for all of life's problems, I'm less crankier and am inching closer to having something more resembling "a life". This is a big win in my books and is why I will keep at it but with some tweaks, namely bringing back more music and podcasts. The daily entries were also a fun experiment and inspired me to branch out a bit more so I could have stuff to talk about lol, but also helping me to see the beauty in life!!!

May 12, 2026 • Internet Break Day 6

Current Listening: COALTAR OF THE DEEPERS - Amethyst

Family member: Did you hear the news?!

Me: Actually, I did not.

:)

May 11, 2026 • Internet Break Day 5

Current Listening: Heatwave - Always and Forever

It felt like another lazy day because I stayed inside the entire time, but I actually did do quite a bit. I finished one book and a manga (media log entries coming soon) and revamped a lot of the site! There's no popups now and illust.html has captions for each drawing. I also started AI: The Somnium Files. Lots of thoughts on it already but those will have to wait for when I actually finish.

I've made a habit of exploring how this break has made me feel throughout the course of these entries, but I don't have any new realizations to share today tbh! The only thing I was lamenting about earlier in the day was not having access to a larger music library than the limited one I have rn. When the seven days are up, I'll go back to listening to more than one album, but in a way that doesn't interact with an algorithm (maybe going back to Slsk lol). In the meantime, I've turned to listening to radio.garden to give me more variety than the few albums I've allowed myself to download. It replicates the good parts of radio listening, and I always discover new music organically when I use it! Here are some of my current favourite stations:

Listening to this as I write this rn. The Guyanese station always plays slow jam R&B and quiet storm type stuff with local ads. I like it a lot ^^ The Montenegrin station is p eclectic, I've heard some really good reggae on it. The rest are mostly 80's music, especially Italo Disco. The Croatian station confuses me a bit because while it plays good eighties music, the announcements aren't in Croatian (although maybe that's why it's actually an enjoyable radio station honk honk (I'm allowed to make this joke)).

May 10, 2026 • Internet Break Day 4

Current Listening: 江美琪 - 對我好一點

After getting lots of nothing time in yesterday, I decided to get some something time in today („• ֊ •„)／ I went out to buy groceries and visit another library I haven't been to, but not before going to a used game store and cafe. The game store didn't have what I wanted, but the cafe visit was fruitful - I drew and journaled and got to try a seasonal drink. Spring is coming with a strawberry matcha latte in the mouth...

While daily life is generally mundane, this internet break has shown me that each day has it's own unique texture and flavour. Seems obvious enough, but I've been so consumed by my internet blackhole for the past few years that I honestly forgot. The days feel less different when you're rotating through the same handful of UX researched websites repeatedly. Instead of having grand aspirations for the remainder of this experiment, I just want to see what each day has to offer.

May 09, 2026 • Internet Break Day 3

Current Listening: Asylum Party - White Light

A true blue lazy day. Did nothing except lay in bed, spend time with my family, and play Tomodachi Life. However, I feel like lazing around without the computer is actually restful. Also, I can't stress enough how much better my mood is when I don't have to see videos/news articles/comments that piss me tf off on an hourly basis.

Made a few of my original characters in Tomodachi Life and gave them their own island. I love them sm♡ Pictured is my white mage x black mage couple (but a modern AU version). Seeing characters that only exist in my mind walk around hits differently than characters from existing media.

May 08, 2026 • Internet Break Day 2

Current Listening: George Michael - One More Try

I promised myself I wouldn't touch my laptop today, and I stuck to that ദ്ദി・ᴗ・)✧ [I'm writing this past midnight].

I woke up and didn't even glance at my laptop because I was determined to not have a repeat of yesterday -__-;; I allowed myself to just lay in bed to daydream and think. I was nervous that the day would be a flop like the previous one, but I told myself that doing nothing is still infinitely better than going online. However, you can only do nothing for so long, and I got the urge to replace my finished sketchbook with a new one and visit a library I never went to.

New library = very nice. The interior was comfier than I was expecting. I returned a book and spotted a copy of Riyoko Ikeda's Claudine...! that I picked up (media log entry here...!) Art store was next, and the exact notebook I was looking for was 50% off, lucky lucky me ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚

Got home and played Tomodachi Life for a bit before getting another invite to go out and eat, except this time it was Korean food. Two days in a row of invites, heheheh. The restaurant served me so much bibimbap that I have two meals left over. After that, I went to a cafe and drew the first picture in my new sketchbook, a sketch of a statue I saw on my walk. Drawing from your own reference always feels nicer than using the same three Pinterest photos, so I'll try to make this sketch into an actual illustration.

Mood: Extremely full from the bibimbap...but also really happy that I stuck to not scrolling :) It's not like I did much, but doing everything I did without the baggage of the internet made me feel like I was actually living my life instead of passively consuming the lives of others like I do online. I was planning on doing some website work tomorrow, but due to today's successes, I might keep the laptop off again!

May 07, 2026 • Internet Break Day 1

Current Listening: Operating Theatre - Spring Is Coming With a Strawberry In The Mouth

First day done! Was it a failure? Was it a success? Keep reading to find out (spoiler: kinda sorta)

Before the actual first day, I went to a library to pick out some books to read over the course of my break. Having books on hand is useful because it surrounds me with more options that don't involve a screen. These are also nice to have for public transport rides. Here were my gets:

I used to read all the time because of what I majored in, so it was a bit disheartening to walk around the library and feel like the version of me who read is some seperate entity from a bygone era...but it's never too late to turn things around. I hope this experiment can prove that.

After that, I went to a cafe with my notebook and pen and started brainstorming the ground rules for this week. I split my browsing into categories: the absolutely-cannot-go-on apps/sites (Twitter, YouTube, Reddit, etc - basically the big platforms that are huge time sinks with an algorithm), things I can go on but with limits and specific intentions (streaming sites, Internet Archive), and the stuff I'm able to use freely at any time (email, client related stuff, chat apps to talk with friends, etc.). When I got back home, I used LeechBlock to block all the sites in the first category so they couldn't be accessed.

Next day and the internet break started in earnest, but with no plan as to how I'd go about spending my day (𖦹﹏𖦹;) I sent a long voice message to friend. I ate breakfast. I played my gacha game that I should also probably quit. One thing lead to another and suddenly I'm scrolling on websites, just ones that weren't on my banned list like Wikipedia and a local news site. Thankfully I caught myself tripping up before it went on for too long, but it was humiliating to set all these boundaries yet still feel the compulsion to scroll. While it wasn't as bad as wasting hours on celebrity gossip forums, I was still wasting time, just with a different font.

However, a friend messaged me on a whim to ask if I wanted to hang out with her. I immediately said yes!!! I was happy to have a reason to leave the house vs. going through internet addict withdrawl. We did a few random errands and then got pasta (pictured above, delicious enough that I had to immortalize it via photo + blog entry). We said our goodbyes but I chose to be out for longer, opting to walk home instead of taking public transport. I was still embarassed about how little I did today and how I gave into my mind numbing urges, so I wanted to be as physically far away from my laptop as possible...

Got back home and now I'm here, working on some website updates (ftr I'm not including site work as part of the internet ban, since I'm doing it locally via live server hehe). I'm documenting my loses alongside my wins in hopes that I can learn from them and have those lessons actually stick. Today, I learned that blocking my usual time sinks isn't enough to break deeply ingrained habits. I want to make tomorrow a real no scrolling day, so I will be keeping my laptop turned off and hidden away for the entirety of the day.

May 06, 2026 • today, tomorrow, and forever

Current Listening: Raze - Break 4 Love

I've decided that starting tomorrow, I'm going to finally go on my week long internet break that I put on my goals list! It's been almost a week since I made my last entry and I feel like I have nothing to show for it Σ(°ロ°) I pictured in my mind that because I'd have more free time than before, that I'd cherish it and make good use of it. Aside from making some purchases I've been meaning to make for a while, I've done nothing except refresh the same few sites I go on over and over again. It sucks, especially since these sites aren't even fun to go on anymore. That's why I decided to intervene and make it so that I can at least enjoy the final week before my job search begins

This blog entry inspired me to sit down and figure out how I want to approach this. I've done a full internet break before, and it impacted my life for the better while it lasted, which is why I want to do it again. I'm doing just a week to make it less intimidating. If I love how things turn out, I can always keep at it. I made a document where I explored my current internet usage like in the linked blog post. I won't share it here (it's way too embarassing lol), but it's sobering to write out by hand exactly how I waste so much time. So much of my day is spent being angry about the things I see because I'd rather be in a foul mood over something I saw online than have to sit with my anxious thoughts. I don't want to be on my death bed lamenting about how I spent the best years of my life reading online arguments.

Something that the linked article's plan doesn't do that I'll be implementing is that I'll also prepare which media I'll have on hand for the week, so that I don't have to waste time scrolling to find something to watch/read/play. I have a few Switch games I want to work on (Dark Souls, Tactics Ogre: Reborn, AI: The Somnium Files, along with Tomodachi Life for when I want to turn my brain off), and I'll look for movies, shows, manga, and books to have at the ready by tonight. Another practice that helped the last time I did this was limiting myself to one (1) single album download per day. It made me appreciate those albums more instead of mindlessly consuming them as background noise.

With a week of no scrolling, I'll also be able to have more time to focus on creating more pages for this site. I want to have my Favourites page up, alongside a shrine for my OTP. I don't feel comfortable applying to things like webrings just yet with such a bare bones website, so hopefully this can fix that issue. I'd also like to use this time to work on more art, both digital and traditional! It would be nice to have more catergories up for illust.html.

I promise to put up a follow up entry on how things went, and I'll try my hardest to stick to the plan. See you next week (˶^◡^˶)

May 01, 2026 • Flower crown

Current Listening: My Bloody Valentine - Sunny Sundae Smile

I had a busy set of weeks but now I'm finally free. I'm going to give myself a two week vacation before I begin my new job search (which I'm already dreading), although I have one new client to work for. Aside from that, I'm ready to close the chapter on freelancing for good.

Some small accomplishments recently that I'm proud of:

• I've been doing more traditional art lately. I'm not comfortable sharing anything yet, but it feels good to practice using mediums that I was scared to even attempt before
• I've been putting more effort into my wardrobe and apperance again. It really helps put me in the frame of mind to go outside
• Last time I hung out with Y, we ventured outside of our comfort zone a bit :) We went to an art show and made small talk with strangers